The Great Escape
I just need a break.
The pressures of life seem to amplify more and more every day.
We have more tools and resources than ever before, yet we are the most exhausted, lost, and confused than we've ever been. We now are aware of all of the problems happening all around the world, yet we can't seem to agree on how to fix them.
We are all super aware of our traumas and have become so sensitive in talking about them. Before, you kept your mouth shut and figured it out, pretending the problem was not real. Now, we expose every tiny detail and leave our open wounds out for everyone to see and know.
Everyone seems to have all of the answers, yet very few are putting the work into producing results.
I. Need. A. Break.
With everything being so accessible, we are "on" all the time. Emails, texts, and notifications come in at every minute of the day. Work is demanding responses as quickly as possible. Kids' sporting events, school activities, networking events, meetings... No days off.
These very things allow us to experience all that life has to offer, but also, cripple us from experiencing life at all.
We have fallen to mercy of to-do lists, people pleasing, being the best, having the best, and trying to prove our worth and happiness.
GIVE. ME. A. FREAKING. BREAK!
Did you know that on average, a human thinks anywhere between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts PER DAY!? Not only that, about 80% of those are negative and carry over into the next day.
So much is depleting us behind the scenes, no wonder we crave so desperately a break.
I have spent a lot of time working with special needs adults. A few years back, I was at a coffee shop and there was a gentleman sitting at the open table I was working from. I could tell he was different and that many people looked at him a particular way. Because of my experience with special needs, I was familiar to this and I welcomed him with a smile. We began chatting and I learned that he was in his 20s, and had a passion for everything creative. He then shared with me that one of his favorite things to do was play a specific video game, one I was not familiar with. As I asked more questions about the video game, he explained that in the game, you lived in a different world, where you had to conquer many battles that were taking place in that world. Everything was super colorful, he had special powers and he got so excited as he shared what these powers gave him the ability to do/conquer.
Now, this is another thing I have found with many special needs individuals. They are extremely good at video games. So as I continued to learn more and more about this incredible human God so graciously sat next to me, I asked him a pretty deep question.
"Do you like playing this game more than anything else?"
"Oh, yeah," he replied. "I am really good at fighting the bad guys and I can do a lot of really cool things!"
"Do you prefer to play video games than go outside and talk to people?" I asked.
"Definitely. People are mean to me sometimes," he said while looking away.
"Do you like the person you are in the video game? Do you feel safe there?"
"Yes," he simply and happily answered.
We continued chatting and it clicked so much for me why so many find outlets to try and escape. This really broadened my perspective to how often we all do this. We have been callused so much by the world, that many of us do all that we can to escape it.
Working your ass off to "get a vacation" and reset.
Having such a hard day that you "need a drink."
Not being happy with how life is and the material things not sustaining a joy in you, so you "grind" to be able to afford a bigger and better toy.
Sneaking behind your marriage to find happiness and feel loved by a stranger through the internet because they seem to "get you" in a way that those closest to you don't.
Scrolling through social media instead of sitting in silence because it allows you to "give your mind a rest," because apparently silence doesn't allow it.
Shoving yourself into other's drama so you can "fix" their situation, giving you a break from your own problems.
Finding pleasure in porn do "work off" the stress and tension you're building up.
Popping those pills, doing those lines in the bathroom, and heading out to the club to have the loud music and the highs make you feel "alive" again.
Turning to food, working out, etc., to find some sense of comfort or pleasure because the rejection and way of life just doesn't feel good.
Yes. I am coming for you.
We all have a "fantasy world" we try and escape to, just like my friend did in his video games.
Life isn't promised to be easy. No one can or will get through life without adversity.
We need a break...but not the kind of break you're fantasizing. We have conditioned ourselves to see life through the fantasy lens instead of addressing and repairing the distorted one we currently see through.
It's easier.
Many of us, and in one way or another, all of us, would rather run away from a problem instead of facing it head on.
The problem is that we can only run for so long. It will catch us eventually.
Even some of the positive outlets can become an escape.
One of my favorite quotes ever:
"We need water to survive, but water can also kill us."
It's important to continuously work on ourselves and take note of what we're growing through. Change is constant and is happening whether we like it or not. We aren't perfect and are never going to "beat the system" of adversity, but we can become better in how we handle it.
I recently experienced an area myself that I had been escaping to. Isolation.
I have spent a great deal of time facing my demons and working on overcoming them, that it became my addiction. The escape was my work, blocking any true meaning of love in my own life, because I was too busy fixating on helping others. It was easier to do "the hard work" of facing the demons. The hard part was letting myself receive love from others. The hard part was trusting others to be a safe space for me. The hard part was admitting that I was feeling alone and that I was just as deserving of the love I was encouraging my clients to recognize.
My Great Escape was a world of absolute distortion, yet I felt safer there.
I share this vulnerability and am even second-guessing myself while choosing to share it.
But it's the truth. We all struggle with something...and if this is a thriving season for you where you don't feel you're struggling, I know for a fact that you've just recently overcome a struggle or are getting ready to enter a stormy season. That's reality.
The sooner we accept it, the more resilient we can become when we try and run to our Great Escape.
As always, I share these vulnerable blogs , hoping to impact even one individual whose eyes come across this.
If you felt convicted by this and are seeking help in this area, I am here to help. No, I am not a perfect human that has it altogether, but I promise you, that I am determined to help individuals through this life by working through the areas they don't show to the world, even those closest to them. You are not alone. You are not broken. You are capable of overcoming this.
Please pass this along to someone in need. And if you are ready, message me or book a 30-minute complimentary session with me to start your journey of freedom.
https://www.jaymeshiarlacoaching.com/service-page/discovery-call-2?referral=service_list_widget
With Love, Vulnerability, and Rawness,
Coach Jayme