How many of you have ever read a book and then grew super excited when you saw they had decided to make a movie out of it?
You begin to develop so much anticipation for when it would be available in theaters, are super pumped to see when they are releasing the trailers, and even manage to fall in love with the short snippets they had shown in the previews.
Then...the day finally comes! You grab a friend or a group of people to all go watch this great movie that you were just DYING to see.
The movie ends and...well...you didn't love it. It wasn't near as good as you thought it would be. They didn't amplify certain parts in the movie the way the book did. The people they had chosen to play the lead roles didn't seem to fit the character the way the book described them.
"The book was so much better than the movie."
I use this example quite frequently with my clients and have managed to use it at least four times this week already so I figured it would be super beneficial to share with you all
We do this within our lives...all. the. time.
Let's start with this example.
You aren't happy at your current job so you begin seeking a new position elsewhere. Then, all of a sudden, an opportunity comes along that just fits you perfectly!
You research the company, look into what all benefits are offered, what the job entails and you interview for the position. Let's go ahead and fast forward to where you get that job and are SUPER excited! It's your dream job, so much better than that job you had before....or so you thought...
A few months go by and all of a sudden you have new hats you are wearing that you weren't expecting, you knew you would have to learn some new things, but you didn't know you would have to learn THAT new thing, you knew you would have some longer hours but you didn't realize it was going to be THAT frequent you would be working those hours.
Here is another example...then I'll land the plane on my point I promise.
You are single and on the prowl...looking for your partner. Whether it is online, through a dating app, in person, or whatever, you begin to start seeing someone.
You guys begin texting and playing the "Getting to Know You" game.
The conversation is amazing. The person is SO much like you and just totally gets you like no one else has!
Then, after the first date or even after dating for awhile, you start blaming that the person doesn't seem to understand you like they did in the beginning. You start to feel like the conversation isn't what it was in the beginning.
Now, don't get me wrong, my disclaimer here is that sometimes it just isn't a fit due to reasons that are out of your control. However, I want you to look at it from a different standpoint for me...
Just like when you are reading a book, you are starting to paint a picture in your mind. You are basing what you are reading off of your own expectations and how you would like to see the story pan out.
With that job, you placed an expectation in your mind on what YOU thought the position would look like. Maybe an employer helped paint that picture for you, but if you weren't very thorough with the questions you had asked or didn't discuss what you were understanding it as, the vision in your head is likely to be different to what it ends up being.
Even further, when you are not in the hype of your emotion, some of the things that you were willing to deal with may not be something that you feel the same about once you are having a bad day on the job.
With that relationship, you painted out YOUR vision on what that person would be like for you. You were excited for something new and were blinded by the hype you had created in your own mind on that individual.
In both scenarios, you can't fully place blame on the outside source for what it was that you had envisioned in your own mind.
We are human. Emotions are totally normal. It is okay to be excited for something new and it is okay to not feel happy with something. The biggest point I'm trying to make is that you need to be able to separate from your own expectations from time to time.
Make sure you are looking at the big picture. Make sure you are communicating what your expectations and intentions are. Make it a point to ask someone else of their expectations and intentions as well.
The final thing:
Be open minded. It is great to have expectations and to think positively toward the possibilities for yourself. That's how you set your standards. Just also make sure that you are open to multiple forms of interpretation.
Now to shift back to the movie thing...picture someone who never read the book so didn't have any expectations on the movie or wasn't overly attached to the book when they read it.
In either scenario here, they have room for more likelihood of enjoying the movie because they are open to what it could turn out like.
Are you someone that puts a lot of expectations on your environment? Do you catch yourself being frustrated or disappointed frequently?
With Love and Accountability,
P.S. Want to dive deeper into this? Book a Complimentary Call with me by clicking the link below!