Whoa guys. It's definitely been awhile since I've posted a blog for you all.
Life has been...character-building.
I don't believe that there is such thing as a "Bad Day," I only believe in "Character-Building Days."
My rule of thumb is that you can only have one "Character-Building Day," and then your next day has to be at least a little better before you can allow your following day to be another character-building one!
Well... we all know that sometimes it just doesn't go that way. I challenge you, however, if you have at least made it this far into reading this, you learn to view these days as just that.
One thing that I have been recognizing during this period of growth is that the majority of us are SO insanely effected by our external environment.
We are motivated by what others are doing, how they look, how much money is made, what the weather is that day, etc.
We give too much credit to outside sources and don't truly acknowledge what power we give that over our own choices, thoughts, feelings and actions. Think about it, every single thing that happens in our lives or what we relate our success, happiness, sorrows and angers to, is what it happening around us.
From a very early age, we are absorbing the world around us in its entirety. Have you ever noticed how you can reflect back to something that was said or a memory that happened twenty years ago and it still seems to hit home and mean the same to you?
Our belief system is engraved very early on and we naturally gravitate towards whatever it is that seems to validate what it is that we believe and instantly run from anything that doesn't.
This is where we begin to marinate...
If we believe something, we see it as completely true. Have you ever noticed that you get frustrated when someone doesn't view an experience the same way you do? You say it's that they don't understand and they are feeling that you are the one that doesn't understand?
This is typically because we only grab onto the bits and pieces of the experience that feel right to us...that validate us...that trigger us.
You are entitled to feel and experience it all however you see fit, but does it mean that you are right? Does it mean that you are wrong?
Alright, so now that we've touched a little bit of how are belief system is built and how it functions, let's talk about that sauce!
We've got our current belief system in place, and we fall into a "Bad Day" or "Funk."
Life. Is. Hard.
People. Effing. Suck.
Why is everything happening to me?
Why isn't anything going right?
Congratulations. You just showed up to your pity party.
That sauce? You are SWIMMING in it.
The more you keep giving power to the shit life throws at you, the more it will take over and the shittier you will feel. You have become a victim to the world around you. That sauce is getting thick and has you feeling like there's nothing you can do.
I showed up to a pity party and definitely over-stayed my welcome very recently. My partner called me on it and at first, I got insanely pissed at him.
"Jayme, you're not even trying."
-Whoa dere, hold the eff up! What do you mean I'm not trying?!?! You have no idea how hard I'm trying!!! (My thoughts and actually the exact words I expressed back to him).
...guess what guys...he was right.
I felt like I was trying. I really did. What I didn't realize was that what I was doing and what I was saying and feeling were TOTALLY not on the same page.
Internally, I was beating the shit out of myself...drowning in my pity party sauce.
Luckily, I have worked really hard at instilling habits so that kept me going physically and at least had me trying on some level.
My belief system got to me. I didn't believe in myself. I focused in on every reason I COULDN'T do something and was only acknowledging what I wanted to believe about the situations that were happening. It. Fucking. Took. Over.
So what changed? How did I get past this?
I faced the music.
DING! The turkey is fucking done! It's time to get out of the sauce. Leave. That. Party!
I HAD TO MAKE THE CHOICE.
I had to decide to change something. Clearly crying, feeling sorry for myself and asking others to feel sorry for me wasn't getting me anywhere.
So what did I do?
I woke up. Made my coffee. Reflected back to how I got out of these situations in the past.
I wrote down everything I needed to be grateful for right there in that moment.
I wrote down everything that was going RIGHT in my life.
I wrote down what it was that I was able to do to take control of what I could control. I gave back my power to myself.
I finally and ACTUALLY started to try. I aligned my thoughts with my actions. I believed it would get better....and guess what. It did.
Everything life throws at us, it leaves us with a choice.
So my question...Will you choose to soak all up in that pity party sauce or rise above and TAKE BACK CONTROL of your life and the outcome? Focus on the power that lies within you...stop giving it away to everyone and everything else.
With Tough Love and Empathy,
...Are you still struggling to pull yourself out of the sauce? Not sure how to leave that party?
Click that link below...let's chat!