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Check Yo-Self Before You Wreck Yo-Self

I've found myself having to work through some major transparency moments as of late. I definitely am always focused on trying to grow and become better, but my current situation has definitely led me into some major contemplation not only on my own identity but how to assist others into becoming happier and mentally healthier as well.


So let's dive in, shall we?


I believe it has become the "trend" to start being more positive and motivating via social media and just throughout everyday life. One thing I have noticed personally is that it almost feels as though it is forced or very fake. It is as if people feel they can't actually express what it is that they are feeling for fear of them being seen as "negative" or "weak," shit, even having to acknowledge that they have things that they need to work on or work through.


We feel as though we have to portray to everyone that life is perfect and we are "happy." In reality, I don't think many even know what happiness is supposed to feel like. If you didn't post it, it's as if it didn't happen. Unless you prove it on Facebook, you aren't really living this awesome life. It's like we are living our lives showing up for people and that is where our validation lies.


I believe it is a start. If you aren't one that is used to saying positive things or thinking them, it is an excellent habit to create. The problem with this, however, is that many set the expectation in their mind that if they do it one time or if they post a motivational quote, they are "fixing" the problem.


Yet again, you have to start somewhere and I will never discredit that journey for someone.


I think it goes much deeper than this. We are more concerned with our presence and "showing up," that we aren't being intentional on why it is that we are doing it.


It is still part of life to FEEL. It is okay if something hurts. It is okay if you get angry.


We act as if negative emotions are not allowed. The aftermath to this is we become callused. We start to live like robots...functioning off of straight routine and keeping busy. We are expected to be constantly doing something to make us more money, make us more successful, make us more fit, that we use all of these things as distractions from what it is that we actually are feeling.


Many of us I think struggle with who they even are anymore.


It's time to get real, ya'll. Not for anyone else but yourself. If something doesn't feel right, express it. If something scares you, acknowledge that. Take some time to get to know YOU.


Know what pushes you to become better. Learn what truly makes you feel better. Learn what triggers you to react the way that you do. Learn how to become in tune with why you are responding the way that you do.


When you spend some time alone and truly learn who you are and how you respond to things, it allows you to be more in tune with how you can change. It grants you the opportunity to know where the negativity is coming from and how to properly come up with a solution. It will teach you how to face the demons that have been lingering with you. If you aren't ready or willing to face the demons, at least you can acknowledge where the demons came from. This will help you know who you want and don't want in your life. It will show why you have held onto relationships with people you probably shouldn't have. It will strengthen your relationships and create a healthier environment for all involved. It will show you who to let go of and who to let in.


Get. To. Know. You.


Learn. To. Love. You.


What I have found thus far through my own journey and throughout working through some major heartaches, is that you have to force yourself into a space to truly know and understand yourself. This is where you learn to love who you are, what you've been through and how to nurture yourself but also others who are needing that love as well.


This requires major vulnerability. Let me tell you, it will require you to set your pride to the side. For many, this is not just an ego thing. It is super scary.


I HATED the thought of being alone with my own thoughts. They were really really nasty and very dark thoughts. It took major isolation to finally sit and listen to these fears and these demons. I would run. Avoidance was my THANG!!!!


I would distract myself by helping others or trying to fix others because it was easier than having to do that work on myself. I didn't want to put myself in that pain.


BUT it needed to happen.


I got so burnt out and so hopeless, I couldn't run anymore. I wasn't actually feeling.


What kind of life is that? Whether you are doing good along the way or not, what fulfillment comes from just being numb to the world?


It was worth it. It continues to be worth it. I still hate having to face these moments. I hate having to expose my weaknesses.


This latest breakthrough for me has shown me that true strength comes from being super vulnerable...and although there was hurt that I had to endure, the other side has been something I can't even fully explain. It's been so freeing, so peaceful!


I have tapped into an even deeper feeling of love and it has made that pain so much more worth it.


So to wrap this up. Feel all of your feels. Have you ever seen the progress of a painting or work of art? It doesn't make sense or may look like a hot mess along the way, but the outcome somehow manages to be so beautiful, that all you can do is just stare in admiration.


Get to know you, sweet soul. Every part of you. The good, the bad, the ugly, the challenging, and everything in between. It's what transforms you. Love it all.


With Love and Transparency,

Coach Jayme


Are you seeking guidance in how to get to this space? Click the link below to set up a complimentary call with me to start your transformation to your truest self and learning to love every part of you.

https://www.jaymeshiarlacoaching.com/services

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