Let me tell you. This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever learned how to do.
In my motivation page, we have spent this week discussing "Forgiveness."
We've discussed what it looks like and how to go about it. I've stressed a great deal this week about pride because it is our own stubbornness that wants to block us from being able to let go of whatever situation or person that has caused us these "no bueno" feelings.
For those that haven't seen these posts throughout the week or those that just need the reminder, forgiveness doesn't mean that you pretend nothing ever happened or that you go back to what hurt you. Forgiveness of others allows you the opportunity to break through those prison chains of hurt and truly be free from what ever happened.
Some of these situations were lessons that we needed to learn something from, help us grow, or truly understand what it is we are seeking in this world. In everything, I stress highly that everything all boils down to perception. Choose to see the situation for what it was, show some empathy for the other person (maybe they didn't know any better or didn't realize how it effected you), grow from it, let it go, and keep moving forward. Also remember to forgive them when you are "ready," not when you are willing.
Alright, so now onto today...
We get so fixated on these hurtful situations and sometimes will place the blame on ourselves (and hey, sometimes rightfully so because we aren't perfect and we mess up as well).
What type of thoughts have went through your head? Here are some of mine:
"How stupid could you be?"
"You KNEW that would happen!"
"Why would you even think you are good enough for someone to treat you any differently?"
"You are just worrying about yourself. Quit being so selfish."
"You made a fool out of yourself for acting that way."
"If I would have done _________, this would have never even happened."
.....I could go on and on...but hopefully some of these are resonate with you guys.
We are so hard on ourselves. Along with that beastly pride vest we never want to take off, we pair it with the fashionable accessories of shame, guilt, and blame.
So let's talk about it.
The situation happened. If you were wrong in the situation, express it to the person. Communicate the emotions, why you acted the way you did and allow there to be an understanding for the situation.
If this is not an option or a necessity for what it is you are dealing with, start at this next part.
Spend some time to yourself. I'm very big on journalling and writing letters to myself to go back and read once I'm not so "in my feelings." Vent it all out, then go back and reflect.
Evaluate yourself in that situation...envision that memory as clearly as you possibly can.
You can't go back and change that moment. It happened. There was a reason that was the way that you acted. So repainting this vision and viewing it from the sidelines, what can you learn from it?
Forgive yourself. Your intentions were in the right place or your passion caused the outburst of emotions. Just own it for a second. You did the best that you could in that moment. We are all human and we all make mistakes.
We can't control the emotions of other people and they are equally allowed to feel how they choose.
But remember to cut yourself some slack. You had your own stuff going on. You aren't the same person you were then so stop beating yourself up from the situation and know that some of the outcomes were totally out of your control. Accept it for what it was.
Look in the mirror and forgive yourself for holding onto these emotions as if it were all your fault. You've survived. You've learned. You've grown. You have become better and wiser since then. Allow yourself to celebrate those pieces instead.
So to all of my wonderful souls that are still reading this, you are worthy of the apology to yourself. You are an incredible person with the intentions of love...giving love and receiving love.
Live. Learn. Forgive. Repeat.
With SO Much Love and Gratitude,